It May Not Be Enough, But That's Okay


A friend of mine shared the following picture/quote with the caption “You don’t have to inspire someone to love you” and all I could think was sheesh... make it plain! Within 10 minutes of seeing the post, I had written the caption below and intended to share it, but I realized that somehow, it had developed into more than just an Instagram caption….


I’ve lived this enough times to know that some of the most well-intentioned, genuinely in-love people, simply aren’t “ready” and that that’s just not enough for me. Someone just loving you isn’t enough. Sometimes you have to let people go and love them from afar. You can love someone and not be with them. You can even love someone and be *gasp* friends. You can love someone and, at the same time, realize that you require something greater. Something enormous and soul-shaking. Something you can see, taste, hear, think, and feel. Something completely and utterly wonderful. Something that fits so perfectly, it has to be God-ordained. Sometimes, we mess up when we let people love us, without first proving they're ready.


But, the truth is, sometimes we love people when we’re not ready, too.


When you learn to TRULY love yourself, the fact that you’re single doesn’t make you sad, it makes you rejoice because of the wonderful person within that you get to know, discover and cultivate. When evenings alone begin you excite you, you know that you are on the way to truly loving yourself. When the silence doesn’t remind you that you’re alone, but magnifies the joy you get from just being and having the luxury to communicate with God without distractions. When you become grateful for your season, you are ready.


And when you get to know YOU, you discover not only what you  want but what you need, as well. You may even realize that those past expectations, what you thought you wanted/needed, were actually based on an incomplete knowledge of self. Then, you can release those people who have wronged you. You can forgive them for not living up to the expectations you once had because you realize that you were just as damaged and needed to grow, too.


I believe that when you’ve truly grown and reached “that” place within yourself, you just know it. It’s like the same old dress you’ve had forever, but now it just fits different and you find a newfound love for it and want to wear it all the time, instead of forgetting it’s in the back of the closet. When you reach that place, the past just doesn’t hold the same weight it once did.

However, though we must forgive, forgetting is not always required. You can love someone, forgive them even, and realize that what they had to offer you... wasn’t enough. That though it was good (and maybe even for a time the best you thought you’d get), it wasn’t great. It may have been comfy, but it didn’t fit you like it was supposed to. It was good in comparison to most things, but it wasn’t their best. It wasn’t all they had to offer. Someone can be wonderful, awesome, kind, loving, caring, and amazing in all the things you desire, but still be giving you a discounted version of themselves. What’s even worse, is that someone could know that they aren’t ready, but selfishly let their love for you remain because they don’t want to lose you, but haven’t quite reached the point where they’re able to totally and completely give up themselves to keep you. Does it hurt deeply to be loved by someone who isn’t ready? Of course it does. But, it doesn’t have to make you bitter. That doesn’t mean they were a bad person, just that though they loved you, they weren’t ready to love you in the intense, sacrificial, awe-inspiring way that you need and deserve. And that’s okay. That love will come and you won’t have to wonder, not even for a second.

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